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Goofy Planets

I, Mayor-by-Birthright-for-Life, Alexandra Jones, claim Kepler 62-e for Goof City. CALLED IT! It has a special atmosphere in which people who are taking themselves too seriously automatically evaporate, to return when they can again laugh at themselves and the world and admit there is nothing more important than peace and harmony among the citizens of our planet.

62-e will be Keplerious and Keplerlicious! It is a land of happy children: Michael and Ricardo, Eduardo, Johnkin, Dexter and Axel and the whole goofy Kepler gang.


Source: MrRbyj and the gang

We’re going to get this one right, people. We won’t take anything for granted. Our No. 1 priority will be to honor and sustain the earth’s live-giving resources, not exploit and destroy them. There will be no highways, overpasses, garages, parking lots, oil wars, cloverleafs, gas stations, because there will be no cars. We will share space with all inhabitants, Keplerian, human and animal, and not trespass upon them or usurp their innate right to live as free women, men, and animals. Respect and gratitude will be the order of the day. There will be no war, and no word for war, because as soon as that shit starts, you evaporate! It’s impossible for conflict to manifest. I can’t really say where you go when you cease to be goofy–you might call it Worryland, the Anxiety Annex, hell, the “real world,” or the Other Side.

By the way, why did the chicken kill itself?
To get to the other side.

But we goofs know that Goof City is the real real world. The rest is a bunch of posturing bullshit, red tape, power plays, smog checks, factory explosions, shootings and bombings. People on this planet we call Earth, for the most part, do not know how to cohabit productively for the advancement of humankind. The so-called leaders lead you down the garden path, and it is not the Garden of Eden. It is the intersection of what’s in it for me and screw you.

But Kepler 62-e will be overrun by sustainable gardens with lush and abundant offerings for all who pass–peaches the size of melons, cucumbers like baguettes, waterfalls of honey. The economy will be based on happiness and good will–the desire of all to provide for all. People will follow their natural bent as to how to best contribute to the Keplerian community. Bakers, gardeners, seamstresses, artists will awaken to a day of pursuing their bliss. Essential services will be provided by those whose joy resides in the smooth operation of systems–engineers and clean freaks and jacks-of-all-trades.

Utopia? Rather, just enough goofiness to hold things together. And people are going to want to stay goofy, because it’s a long trip back to Earth–a light year is nearly 6 trillion miles, and 62-e is 1,200 light years away. That’s 7.2e15 miles–a number so big I don’t even know if it’s a number.

Would it get boring? Doesn’t one eventually get tired of just goofing around? Easy peasy. Evaporate! Or stay behind, your choice. Today is 4/20, and earthlings are gathering at Hippie Hill in a cloud of mellow camaraderie. If I could address them all, I would cede the floor to Michael Rennie.


Source: Parsec777

But he’s not here so I clear my throat and ask the crowd:

People of Earth…where are my reading glasses?

What are we doing here? Everyone asks that some point. Not just here, the entire extant human race somehow shoehorned into Golden Gate Park . But on this planet, and in this universe. And who am I? Well, I’m nobody. And anybody. And everybody. I am you and you are I. I am a citizen of the planet earth. We all have that in common, whatever race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, provenance, heritage. That is undeniable. At the root of our existence, we are born equal, as human beings.

As we grow, we and those around us differentiate ourselves from others. That’s when the trouble starts. When we start messing with each other because of all the other things we are. When people stop talking and seeing each other as human beings but as representatives of some group we’ve been taught to hate, or been segregated from. People instinctively gather together–for companionship, to make work easier, to combine resources, to be with others of their kind. Uh, can you pass that pipe up here?

People usually do gather in groups of their own kind, often just because they’re nearby. People who are born in one region of the world with its own climate, topography and resources find each other, develop languages, customs and belief systems. When we encounter differences, within our group or in others, we may experience fear and over-react in how we regard or treat those we don’t understand. And this is all happening on one rotating, orbiting chunk of rock we all share. The more of us there are, the less there is to go around. Remember, your garbage disposal eats better than 2/3rds of your fellow earthlings. Challenging, to say the least. And we are on the verge…yes, we are, of losing it all. To greed. But it’s not too late, I say it’s not too late…for you and me and Michael and Ricardo and Eduardo and Johnkin and Dexter and Axel to join hands and build a new world of cooperation and well-being.

So, come on, people, now, smile on each other, everybody get together, try to love one another right now. Right now! Right now! And don’t forget to recycle.

See you in 7.2e15 miles!

KEPLER IS SO GOOD! Keplerlicious!

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